Hey guys I wrote/performed this song hope you like it :)
Personally I think that this is my best song so far, and others have told me this too. It has a complex rhyme scheme which you can look at/see in the video and I put alot of emotion into it and took me a long time (like 3 hours or so) to write this (was hard getting almost every word/syllable in this to rhyme lol). So I'd appreciate any constructive criticism you have and a sub too ;) Thanks guys! :DDD
ok sheeple (sheep people) that makes alot more sense. i used to believe in a simulated reality too( during a meth fueled kundalini obsession) i would say though any things that make it believable are a evolutionary cause. humans have a hard time grasping out side a few 100 people. afterwords its just news. still probably real. most people live on autopilot , thats why most are sheep. at least for periods of their life
Aj Clay appreciate it thanks :) And LOL, some of the stuff doesn't make sense to most people and only to me which is something I've realized I do a lot. I believe in a version of simulation theory in which basically everyone is just simulated and fake, aka "Sheep" and that I and a few others are the only ones that are real. "Devise a design to be with the sheep" is in reference to the concept that I chose to experience and possibly designed or planned to live in this universe, and that now I am questioning that decision. Alot of the metaphors and whatnot in my songs have meaning to me and me alone basically lol. I need to work on making it stuff that everyone can understand :) It's sort of like Eminem's song "The Monster" which many Eminem fans didn't like, but I could tell had a GREAT impact and meaning to Eminem, it was something he'd wanted to get off his chest (Stuff about his Slim Shady person, darkness in his music, etc.), but that others didn't accept as much. My old music was riddled with references that make no sense to others/outsiders.
seems rough to me. but really great potential on lyrics ( most were great, but sex and sheep, are you in iraq?) over all not bad, great potential, just gotta smooth out how your voices transition
Will do :)
Ehh my old stuff is complete trash tbh XDDDD LOL. Just wait for my upcoming stuff ;)
I think you should also work on your flow a little. For the most part you did well (and I'm only basing this opinion off this one song, so forgive me if you have improved on this) but I caught a few stumbles that broke the flow.
Again though, I'd love to see more. When I get some free time I'll check out the rest of your stuff!
Thanks appreciate it! :D And yeah I've heard from several people I should go faster and stuff like that. I mean I can rap fast LOL (I covered Eminem Rap God, though earlier I butchered it I can do it almost flawlessly at 1.5x speed now lol). Other than that what you think I should work on?
I know you posted this a long time ago but I want to say a few things!
I like your voice, you have a lot of anger which is powerful in a good rap.
I think with practice and a bit of quickening, you'll be a Rap King! (Rap God is taken at the moment :/)
Overall, I liked what you expressed and how you expressed it. Rap is always a good way to express controversial opinions and that's one of the reasons why I love it. The shock factor of saying what we're all thinking, but won't discuss, is what makes a good rap memorable.
I won't lie on the fact that it needs some work, but what you did bring to the table was very enjoyable.
I'd love to see more from you!